2012 - senior year

I say senior year. loosely. I still have 3 more semesters, IF everything goes according to plan... And we know how often that happens :) This has been without a doubt, absolutely, HANDS-DOWN my best year. I mentioned before that I was going to kiss dating goodbye. and i did for one whole year. All of 2012. well technically the year isnt over but you catch my drift. I prayed for most of december over this decision and it kinda felt like God was saying "YES! this is what i want for you." so that was that. This year. I went on my first missions trip to GUATEMALA!!!! And it was such an amazing experience, i dont think ill ever be able to stay here in the states when i know what i could be doing instead. Watching the way God has no limits was just completely eye opening, and i would love to go back. He has taught me alot this year. Maybe they were all things that He's been trying to teach me all along, Ive just never really set everything aside to listen to Him. But this year thats exactly what I'm doing. Just waiting and listening and being a willing vessel. I have started going to a church in Boone call Alliance Bible Fellowship. It is wonderful, I have a huge supportive college group that i wouldnt trade for the world :) I am back at home and commuting with mom everyday again by the way. Life is so good. GOD is so good. I trust Him with everything i have because, he is the one who gave it to me in the first place. I cant believe how quickly this year has gone by! Its almost october! Im not going to say when i'll post again. this was just on a whim, but hey, maybe ill have more of those :)

2011

Well,I definitely did not stick to blogging did I?
I thought id at least do one for the year.
This year...
Has been a pretty good one over all, I started dating my friend Bobby and we were on and off for about
Ten months.he is a wonderful Godly guy. But as always I get distracted and crazy when I'm in
A relationship. My priorities got way out of line and no matter how
Much I tried to tell myself I was still ok,I wasn't.
Ok with God,that is.
Anyway we broke up at the beginning of December.
Its a lot better this way, I mean of course it hurt at first,
But the more I think about it, I realize that God was just looking out for me (and Bobby)
Like He always does :)
I am so blessed to have a heavenly father who not only loves me enough to
Stop me before I really get hurt, but Also one who forgives me over and over again.
As far as dating goes,I think I'm off for a while, I need to recenter my life
on God. And until I feel like I have a solid grasp on what God wants
for me,I will not be pursuing any type of love life.
That being said, this year I started my 3rd year at app.
It could have been better,it could have been much worse too though.
I have 4 more semesters left until I can receive a bachelors degree
in biology.but honestly just trying to take it a day at a time,
because really that's all you can do.
You know the saying "if you wanna hear God laugh,try to make a plan"?
I am living proof of that,besides if you don't plan anything out you have
nothing to worry about :)
let's see...
I waitress at Applebee's and have met some amazing people since starting there
last summer.i have my own Apartment in Boone, and Am enjoying the freedom
that it comes with.(I'm speaking socially of course and not financially)
I have grown so much this year, learned so much about the world and myself.
And THAT in itself has made this year a pretty good one.

AutumnFall

its fall time!best time of the year!
so lets play KETCHUP lol
App is great!
Chem is kicking my butt
but everything else is good
the healing process is complete
Thanks to God himself
class starts in 15 minutes
Dance that is lol
Life is grand :)
And I am going to start blogging again haha
Hopefully...

unreal

and in a little more than one month so many things in my life have turned completely upside-down
i am single.
i have experienced feelings recently that are very foreign to me...
and that i hope to never feel again.
so no more wedding planning,budgeting,or kisses even
but i consider all these things as one big learning experience.
and learn i have!
and so with that, i pick the pieces of me back up and connect myself again.
yes, i needed to find myself again,
i had become someone i didnt even know, much less someone i could be proud of.
God has helped me through this part of my lifes journey, as he always has but especially nights when all i could think to do was cry and pray for his guidance in my uncertainty.
one thing i am certain of is that no matter the mistakes i have made, GOD can and will make me like new again :)

Behold, I make all things new.

-Revelation 21:5
My God has the power to do anything. and that is a unexplainable reasurrance.
Healing from this all will take time, but i am going to give everything i have back to God, put my life, and my decisions back into his hands.
Any mistake any of us humans could ever make, can be forgiven by an unconditionally loving God.
And i dont know about you, but that makes ME smile :D

summertime...and tha livin is easy...fish are jumpin, and the cotton is high.

o your daddys rich and your ma is good looking.

lol

that was from my ninth grade chorus class.

anyway.

i LOVE summer.

its good not to have really anything to worry about except maybe a job and trying to get plans together with my 5 best friends.

because getting six people together all at once is harder than you would think lol

im missing some friends from school tho.

but still, its great to be home :]

trying to get things together for the budget of bills, wedding, and honeymoon.

hoping to have a yardsale soon.

Kevins birthday is saturday <3>

:)

so summer is great!

except right now it really doesnt REALLY feel like summer

since its raining and thunderstorms everyday,

but i love summer rain :)

so i guess its okay

for now lol

however if this is all it does tile the end of august, i will be quite sad

anyway

it feels good to have survived my freshman year of college

now to get things together for app.

but other than these things i love how unbusy summer is

i mean

i make it as busy as i want lol

which is good.

and convenient

lots of cleaning to do lol

well, im not sure what else to say, cant really think of anything big going on

other than my awesome yardsale coming up!

peaces

People Need People/People Change

I have come to the realization that as independent as

i may want to be i will always eventually need help.

Help from people stronger than me

smarter than me,

sometimes in a better mood than me,

and of course God.

This recently came up in my life, and i have found out that there are some truly wonderful people in this world,

For example:

My tutor and friend Katie.

She very selflessly agreed to helping me with my calculus.

and so

my last test grade was a 87!!!

And another example,

Kevin has just moved into his apartment, and we have people who have given him almost a whole furniture set, and a futon from another.

I mean when anyone is starting off its just helpful to know that some people are genuinely there for you and hope you succeed.

My friend Demetrius helped me unloft my bed, a task that would have taken me hours.

All these people i mention have just been so up for helping, it makes me want to cry to think God has given me such wonderful people in my life.

And as i was thinking about all of mine and Kevins blessings, i couldnt help but wonder whether or not i would be right there just as willing to help out if asked...

I would like to think so...

I cant be a calculus tutor, obviously,

i cant help people with strength needed tasks

and i dont have furniture to give to people...

but there are ways i can help!

i wont list them, but

there are ways EVERYONE can help eachother

People need people.

Even getting married,

thats what wedding showers

and house showers

and baby showers

are for!

some things just cant be done alone.

and its good to understand that.

Sometime we just need a level head to talk to about things going on

Thats my wonderful mom.

She gives the best practical advice!

Also, people change.

I'm sure we have all known people

who we go way back with ,

and dont see for quite a while

and the next time we meet them

they are completely different from what we remember.

Am I right?

People change, sometimes right in front of us

my problem is that I feel like everything should always stay the way it used to be. so when i see this kind of change, its a little down-heartening for me.

unless the change is one for the better, but im mostly referring to the opposite.

anyway ive been thinking about that lately and altho it is hard to deal with for me sometimes, I cant really do anything about it except be the same old me.

Ive changed too.

This first year in college has aged me in more than one way.

And im sure there are people who when they see me notice my change.

But i can honestly hope that its not bad.

Change is inevitable.

No matter how hard you try to stay,

its all around you

all the time.

I didnt mean for these two blogs to contradict eachother if u think so.

They are just two of the many thoughts that have been floating around in my brain of late.

I just decided to put them together :)

it may seem like it at the moment, but its not the end of the world.

does anyone else worry about grades?isnt that what were taught to do our entire lives? that to be able to make it in the world, we must do good in high school college and graduate school, so we can have decent jobs. i mean with that kind of pressure on us id say that yes, when i see a bad grade i cower in fear for a while, about how my future could possibly pan out now.
I made a 40 on my calculus test.
not only is that what i consider an undesirable grade but it absolutley mortified me! i seriously almost cried guys. thank heavens my teacher drops the lowest test grade. im just going to have to start buckling down and hitting the books!i still havent told my mom by the way. :]
but im chill now, although, allow me to further educate u on what all rides on passing this class.
Apps regulation is that all transfers must have at least 30 credit hours (for a sophmore) and a GPA of 3.0 before i can even go there. so i need to make a good grade because if i fail it will put me at 27 credit hours, and no telling my GPA, PLUS my mother has kindly paid the fee for reserving a seat, which is no small price.
its time to get serious.
college is alot different than highschool
for example, my calc teacher doesnt take up home work, so its hard to motivate myself to do the homework since i know there wont be any immediate consequences to it. but let me tell you the long term consequences are FAR WORSE.
so if you are a horrible procrastinator like i am, get it together!because altho life is great, the economy is a race for survival, and those who survive, usually have degrees.
wow that was a harsh analogy lol but you know what i mean. i am in the process of self discipline to do my homework, it really is for my own benefit.i think i will start going to the library immediately after class so i wont forget about it.
good plan.
lets see how this works, but for now all i know is that i have to pass calc.
which is sad that one class could potentially be my demise, almost.
other than that im alright :) Kevin and I are registered at three places, and i know we will be fine! he moves in next weekend, to his apartment, and shortly after this school year will be over, and i will have a job to raise money for various needs, including a honeymoon! i have several ideas in mind, and not enough space and time to put them into action. but i feel confident that my God will take care of me, he always has, and i dont think he will ever stop, there have been times when i thought my life was ending, but then i realize that hey, its not the end of the world.... (although if it was that would be ok since heaven is awesome!ive heard)